It becomes awkward, uncomfortable and unplanned for parents when they see their 8-year-old suddenly Googling something unexpected like “sex” or for that matter a “shock site” by a 15-year-old who visits graphic because he or she thinks they’re hilarious.
But parents who may be ready to have a traditional talk about sex often can feel unsure about how to respond when they discover their children have looked at pornography.
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How do you respond in the moment?
Don’t freak out. Take a deep breath. React calmly. Talk it over with a spouse or friend, and then choose a calm moment to follow up. Let your children know that they can ask you about anything they might have seen. Even if they have no questions, start the conversation with feelings.
You might go ahead and ask them “How did you feel about what you saw? Was it scary? Exciting? Confusing?” Assure children that whatever they’re feeling does not make them a bad person.
There is a way to talk to children of different ages about pornography
Honest sex education that reflects a parent’s values. If a 4-year-old is looking at the sexually explicit material, it’s probably making no impact on them whatsoever. A number of parents said in interviews that their children had searched for sexual terms when they were as young as 8 or 9, usually to better understand sex. Teenagers, on the other hand, have a greater need for understanding what is real versus what is produced for entertainment.
A number of parents said in interviews that their children had searched for sexual terms when they were as young as 8 or 9, usually to better understand sex. Teenagers, on the other hand, have a greater need for understanding what is real versus what is produced for entertainment.
Some children might not have any specific questions, or shy away from talking to their parents about explicit materials they’ve seen, but that doesn’t mean they’re not curious or don’t have questions. An incident can present an opportunity for parents to provide guidance as children develop their ideas about sex.
An incident can present an opportunity for parents to provide guidance as children develop their ideas about sex.
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