Teenagers are the most misunderstood people on the planet. They are treated like children and expected to act like adult.
It was never easy being a teenager. In the digital cradle, the task is formidable to say the least. The “highly objectionable cyber prank” allegedly by a middle-school student has yet again turned the spotlight on growing pains in the insta world. Things are being investigated, but new questions are being raised on the overexposure of technology and its damaging effects on the conduct of young minds already in the throes of a hormonal revamp.
A music reality show coach “kisses a minor contestant” and posts the video on Facebook. A tribal is allegedly tied and beaten to death and people around post selfies. Instances of adults setting the trend are innumerable, starting with our own growing craving for instant gratification via social media or in other words the “you are the sum total of your likes” syndrome taking on epidemic proportions. Even venting pent up frustrations is now just a click away. Today there might be positive examples as well but maybe they are just not enough leading to a skewed manifestation of atelophobia in a way.
“A whole lot of incidents happened in the non digital era too,” pointed out clinical psychologist Roma Kumar in a focus group conversation yesterday with parents of teenagers, “but the difference today is the alarming reach of the social media. The craving for validation is spinning out of control and kids are simply following in the footsteps of the adults.”
This is the age of the Alexa. However, every new invention brings with it a set of new responsibilities. How many realize that? How many are equipped to handle the vagaries of every new tech-advancement?
“We all make mistakes,” says Dr Roma Kumar, “but the most important thing is to grow together as a family by educating ourselves about the growing pains in the Insta era and creating a safe environment for the emotional hygiene of our children.”
Her 10-point formula for that is simple:
begin by equipping yourself with relevant knowledge
spend time with children, listen to them
give them opportunities to ask questions, let them speak
address their queries without judgement or opinion
equip kids with life tools to channelize their angst and curb impulses
discuss consequences, sexuality and socially acceptable conduct; encourage reflection
foster peer comfort
regulate screen time
do not brand
and lastly, do not hesitate to reach out to counsellors
According to senior educators from Gurugram, “we live in a digitally traumatic age where teachers and parents need to work in tandem to channelize teenage vulnerabilities through proper mentoring and counseling to counter emotional paralysis.”
“The real focus therefore should be on sensitized character building, because such incidents can happen anytime, anywhere and with anyone. So what is of paramount importance is the human touch and understanding,” they insist.
When author Frances E Jensen’s son changed from a calm, predictable child into an angst-filled teenager overnight, she was left wondering what happened. So she decided to use her skills as a neuroscientist “to explore what was happening under the hood” culminating in her book The Teenage Brain.
“Much had been written about teen psychology and parenting, but no one had explained the neurons and cerebral connections that make those years such a unique – and terrifying – part of growing up,” she said in an interview.
Today, advance brain imaging techniques have totally smashed preconceived notions on why teenagers behave the way they do by delving deeply into the myelination process and the functioning of the prefrontal cortex — the executive area of the brain involved in decision-making, planning and self-control – of the growing teenage brain.This has thrown new light on the risk-taking behavior common among teens and young adults, according to reports.
In an interesting Ted Talk on the mysterious working of the adolescent brain, Cognitive neuroscientist Sarah-Jayne Blakemore “compares the pre frontal cortex in adolescents to that of adults, to show how typically teenage behavior is caused by the growing and developing brain and the fascinating ways it relates to risk taking, peer pressure and learning. Leading automatically to the bigger question: How can we better target education to speak to teenagers’ growing, changing brains?”
Her very definition of adolescence will come as a surprise to many. For the rest, these are young adults standing at the awkward cusp of being the “most misunderstood people on the planet.”