Plan it before you ban it!

You know what is the keyword these days? Ban. No, seriously. It is.

 

There has been a ban on almost everything — from food to movies to erm…porn. Yes, there’s been a ban on each one of these. Beef to porn, it has been a long journey. 2015 has been a ‘ban year’. Sometimes the government actually deserves a slow clap but they often fail to ban what is actually needed. Here is a list of bans for far and what actually should be banned.

 

Beef Ban- Holy Cow!

It was a dooms day for the beef lovers when the Maharashtra government declared eating beef as an offence. The law is expected to take its toll on beef traders, who are mostly from the Muslim community. Anyone who violates the law can be jailed for five years and fined up to Rs. 10,000. Whoops!

 

India’s Daughter, a documentary — Banned!

A banned film often ends up receiving more viewers than a well-advertised, promoted film. With the advent of internet, banning anything has become a complete joke. If it fails to make it to the screens, Youtube is always there with open arms. It is a documentary on the tragic rape incident and victim- Nirbhaya case by BBC. According to the esteemed panel it was a tactic to disgrace India. Really?

Fifty shades of grey

Umm. The oh-so-popular and oh-so-talked-about book that became a movie — yes, that one! Yes it has been banned. Even after censoring all the nude and sex scenes, the government had a problem with the strong words. What about Indian people who have seen it abroad? Not only this movies like Paanch, Fire, and Dirty Politics have also been banned. Well done!

Cuss words:

The Censor Board acted like the Censor Board, banning 34 words from being used in the flicks.  It definitely has taken offence to words like lesbian, ghanta, haramipana, haram ke pille and haramkhor, removing these from the film Dum Laga Ke Haisha.

Can you imagine a movie like Gangs of Wasseypur without its rib-tickling one-liners that shook the daylights out of us?  Naah. Hence, the Censor Board acted like Sense-r Board, revoking the ban.

Go Roast!

AIB, you know All India Bakchod (shhhh….bad word alert!) infamous for their Roast? Well, that Roast didn’t really taste good for our government! So, yes…BANNED! But then, down but not out, the Roast videos are still available online! Go watch!

Maggi

You know, two-minutes to take care of the midnight cravings? Well, no longer, because thanks to excessive lead we have to eat even if mom cooks something we don’t like. Based on the finding of the Food Safety and Standards Authority of India (FSSAI), Maggi has gone. Sob!.

Porn sites

No, no. Not porn. Yeah, porn! The Government of India has banned over 850 porn sites. Internet users are not being able to access porn sites since Saturday. Sorry!

Dear Government, here’s what you would like to consider. We need some bans, but what you have banned aren’t the ones. NewsMobile is always there to lend a helping hand, and here are some things that you could actually ban.

 

1.     We prefer cuss words to typically irritating plots and soliloquies featuring heavily cake faced women. Thanks.

2.     Cigarettes, need we say more? Let it go up in smoke!

3.     ‘Not in my backyard’ syndrome must be taken care off by our government. Your house is not my house attitude should go. Ban littering!

4.     Pee chii! India is the only nation where kissing in public is illegal but you can pee in public. Isn’t it funny? Or I should say dumb? Government should impose ban and fine on people to make our India clean.

5. Why are people with criminal background allowed to contest for elections? Is it not the first thing that should be banned? A ban on hate speeches is another must. Religious discrimination for vote banks is vital in today’s scenario.

6. Ban the social exclusion of patients with AIDS or other diseases that are socially stigmatised.

7.  A serious ban on people who bully minorities, LGBT should be imposed.

8. Honour killing, child marriage, child labour should be banned and not the movies and books made on such issues.